Inaugural Post or HI! I'm Muffyn Top. Nice to Meet You :-)

Well, hello there.  My name, for purposes of this blog, is Muffyn Top, and I have a big fat ass.  Now I guess you are thinking two things now.  One: thank god her name isn't Muffyn Top in real life and two: it's a shame about her big fat ass.

I've been fat for as long as I can remember.   I was a fat baby. I was a fat kid.  I was a fat teenager, though now I realize I wasn't really that fat in my mid teens.  In fact, I'd KILL to be that fat now!  I was just comparing myself to my stick thin friends, where at 140 I was a little rounder than desired, but I had more grown up curves.

After age 16, I've gone up, up, up.  Now, at 42, I am at my heaviest ever.  Well, I take that back.  Three weeks ago I was at my heaviest ever.  After a shocking trip to try on clothes on a Sunday morning, Monday brought a change in my eating habits.  Now, three weeks later, I've lost 12 pounds, and today I weigh 248 pounds.  I know.  How in the hell did I allow myself to get so fucking fat?

I can give you the technical, scientific reason: I ate more more calories than my body required to sustain itself.  I ate when I was bored, when I was happy, when I was sad.  I ate because I was lonely, then I ate because I was with people I cared for. I ate because I love food.  I ate because it was put on my plate.

It is a bit easier to tell you why I have decided to make a life change and get my dietary act in order.  I have two beautiful kids who I do not want to grow up to be obese.  I want to live a long life and play with them and hopefully one day play with my grandkids - though by that fucking time I'll be so old I'll probably be eating out of a feeding tube! I want to feel better physically, to not be winded by the most simple activities.  I want to be able to buy clothes at any store I want.  I want to feel like I look good.

I am not on a strict diet.  I pretty much eat whatever I want, I'm just watching my portions and through that controlling my caloric intake.  I'm tracking my food intake using MyFoodDiary.com and I love it.  It is super easy to use and makes tracking my intake a no brainer.  Right now I am consuming 1800 calories a day, give or take - mostly take - a few. Three weeks in it has been pretty easy.  I've had some fast food, but having attempted eating out at any restaurants where I wouldn't have a good idea of the nutritional details of what I'm eating.  That will come with time.

I've got a long way to go.  My goal is 128, but if at some point higher than that I feel and look like I want?  Well, I'm not hung up on a number.  I just want to feel good again.

I'll be posting my ups and downs here, tracking my progress, and blogging about anything else that I feel is effecting my diet.  I want to figure out the triggers for overeating for me, so that I can learn to deal with them and make them a thing of my past.

Thanks for joining me on my journey.  It's gonna be a long trip....