Well, hello there. My name, for purposes of this blog, is Muffyn Top, and I have a big, fat ass. Now I guess you are thinking two things now. One: thank god her name isn't Muffyn Top in real life and two: it's a shame about her big fat ass.
I've been fat for as long as I can remember. I was a fat baby. I was a fat kid. I was a fat teenager, though now I realize I wasn't really that fat in my mid teens. In fact, I'd KILL to be that fat now! I was just comparing myself to my stick thin friends, where at 140 I was a little rounder than desired, but I had more grown up curves.
After age 16, I've gone up, up, up. Now, at 42, I am at my heaviest ever. Well, I take that back. Three weeks ago I was at my heaviest ever. After a shocking trip to try on clothes on a Sunday morning, Monday brought a change in my eating habits. Now, three weeks later, I've lost 12 pounds, and today I weigh 248 pounds. I know. How in the hell did I allow myself to get so fucking fat?
I can give you the technical, scientific reason: I ate more more calories than my body required to sustain itself. I ate when I was bored, when I was happy, when I was sad. I ate because I was lonely, then I ate because I was with people I cared for. I ate because I love food. I ate because it was put on my plate.
It is a bit easier to tell you why I have decided to make a life change and get my dietary act in order. I have two beautiful kids who I do not want to grow up to be obese. I want to live a long life and play with them and hopefully one day play with my grandkids - though by that fucking time I'll be so old I'll probably be eating out of a feeding tube! I want to feel better physically, to not be winded by the most simple activities. I want to be able to buy clothes at any store I want. I want to feel like I look good.
I am not on a strict diet. I pretty much eat whatever I want, I'm just watching my portions and through that controlling my caloric intake. I'm tracking my food intake using MyFoodDiary.com and I love it. It is super easy to use and makes tracking my intake a no brainer. Right now I am consuming 1800 calories a day, give or take - mostly take - a few. Three weeks in it has been pretty easy. I've had some fast food, but having attempted eating out at any restaurants where I wouldn't have a good idea of the nutritional details of what I'm eating. That will come with time.
I've got a long way to go. My goal is 128, but if at some point higher than that I feel and look like I want? Well, I'm not hung up on a number. I just want to feel good again.
I'll be posting my ups and downs here, tracking my progress, and blogging about anything else that I feel is effecting my diet. I want to figure out the triggers for overeating for me, so that I can learn to deal with them and make them a thing of my past.
Thanks for joining me on my journey. It's gonna be a long trip....